just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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