No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
