If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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