I cockslap morals
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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