We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
