is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
