Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
