Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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