The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
