Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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