I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
