You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
All I want is dick and wine.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
