3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
