So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
