I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
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please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
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I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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