Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
