So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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