i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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