Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
