Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
