I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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