Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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