just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
