i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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