So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize