I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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