after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
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she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
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plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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