I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
