its not stalking. its research.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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