Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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