I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
