It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
sex in a hospital.. check
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
