i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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