just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
