now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
