threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize