I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
