I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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