and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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