READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
