get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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