a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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