Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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