at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
