I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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