He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He? As in you personified your dick?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
