I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
ugly people sure do ruin things
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
