I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
