I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i wish my penis had a tongue
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
