Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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