normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
So apparently I’m into choking now
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
