i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm like, not good at living.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize