So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
