Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
