she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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