I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
