im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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