Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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