Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
