i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
No I am not eating basil off your cock
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
