Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
