Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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