woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize