it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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