i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
