I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
