the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
