i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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