Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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